Jurassic World Rebirth Review – Visually Grand, Emotionally Hollow
Scarlett Johansson called it “a love letter to the original 1993 Spielberg classic.” With David Koepp returning to write and Gareth Edwards in the director’s chair, fan expectations were understandably high. But does this latest entry truly honor the original, or is it another attempt at reviving a fossilized franchise?
The Setup: Hope, Skepticism, and Dinosaurs
Full disclosure: I usually brace for the worst when it comes to rebooting a reboot. But it’s summer, and if nothing else, I was ready to see some cool dinosaurs on the big screen. That optimism lasted exactly one scene — when a candy sticker causes a malfunction in a high-security lab, triggering a mutated dino escape. Funny in a Final Destination: Bloodlines kind of way (read our review here), but for Jurassic World? Just lazy.
Post-Dominion Timeline & Plot Shenanigans
Set five years after Jurassic World: Dominion (yes, the one with the locusts and bio-chaos), we learn dinosaurs are no longer thriving globally due to poor air quality and climate issues. They’ve retreated to the lush jungles along the equatorial belt, where the oxygen is richer.
Enter Scarlett Johansson as Zora Benett, a morally gray mercenary who’s okay with breaking a few laws for the right price. She’s hired by Martin Krebs (Rupert Friend), a pharma rep hoping to cure heart disease — but he needs live dinosaur tissue for research. Yep, still illegal.
Their mission? Collect samples from one land, one water, and one airborne dinosaur — a Jurassic fetch quest straight out of Witcher or Zelda. And for some reason, they must drag along civilian paleontologist Dr. Henry Loomis (Jonathan Bailey) to “identify the dinosaurs in real life.” Because in a world with drones, cameras, and AI… science still needs vibes?
The Delgado Family Detour
Running parallel to the mercenary mission is the Delgado family subplot. We’ve got Manuel Garcia-Rulfo as Reuben Delgado, Luna Blaise as his daughter Teresa, Audrina Miranda as younger sister Isabella, and David Iacono as Teresa’s boyfriend Xavier. Great performances all around — but their purpose? Mostly to be cannon fodder and give us someone to root for after the side characters drop like flies.
The moment you realize who’s going to survive, the stakes drop fast.
Dinosaurs: Great Effects, Wasted Potential
To the film’s credit, the dinosaurs look fantastic. The underwater Mosasaurus sample sequence? Genuinely thrilling. There’s a beautiful shot involving two Titanosaurus that evokes the awe of the original trilogy. But once the team lands on a new, unmentioned island tied to InGen research (because of course there’s another island), the plot starts eating itself.
Characters make absurd decisions, not because they’re human, but because the plot demands it. Unlike Spielberg’s classic, there’s no justification — it’s just dumb writing.
Performances: Johansson, Ali, Bailey Deserved Better
Scarlett Johansson is convincing as the hardened Zora, and Mahershala Ali, as always, commands attention whenever he’s on screen. Jonathan Bailey brings earnestness to the nerdy Dr. Loomis. But for all their effort, the script gives them nothing to work with. Zora’s final decision to open-source the research and abandon her payday? It comes out of nowhere. Where was the moral turning point? Did I blink and miss it?
Final Verdict: A Step Up, But Still a Stumble
Let me be honest — Jurassic World: Rebirth is an improvement over the messy Chris Pratt-led trilogy (Dominion was particularly unwatchable). Visually, this film feels more aligned with the franchise’s roots, especially nodding to the original Jurassic Park in a few sequences. But that just shows how low the bar was.
Is it anywhere near the 1993 masterpiece? Not even close. It’s not scary, not thrilling, and certainly not smart.
Rating:
Watch It or Skip It?
If you’ve got kids or are desperate for a big-screen experience, it’s not the worst way to spend a summer afternoon. But if you’re looking for thrills, logic, or even a good story? Skip it. Wait for streaming. Enjoy it with cheap snacks on your couch.
So, what did you think? Was it a fun dino romp or another fossilized flop? Drop your thoughts below and check out more reviews here.
Curious about Jurassic World: Rebirth? Click here for more.
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